MIDNIGHT THOUGHTS
Friday, July 25, 2003
4:32 AM
I will be adding more later
4:18 AM
You may torture me
And you may hurt me
But you'll never break my spirit.
Do not think that because I do not worship your god
That I worship the evil you call satan.
And just because I use the power inside me
Doesen't mean it comes from hell
Nor from evil creatures
Who take pleasure
In the suffering and killing of others.
Do not think that because I can use magick
I will hurt you in any way.
Cause even though
Your religion
Once killed many like me
And many more who weren't like me
You will never break my spirit.
For I am a witch
And no one can ever change me.
4:08 AM
Should i end this short life of a wasted fool
who drifts thru life like there is no meaning
meaning of life, what is that? i cry
why should i waste this life on empty tears
when no one cry's for me
except my own spirit.
3:53 AM
The time has come,
to go away.
To see no more,
another day.
Shadows of sadness,
taken hold.
My heart and soul,
so still and cold.
The light that shone upon my face,
When you held me in your warm embrace,
Is gone forever,
will never return.
No longer,
fires of passion burn.
Of the way I've treated you,
I'm ashamed.
I gladly bear the guilt and blame,
Of losing love,
so strong and pure.
A love of which,
we were so sure.
Words are fickle,
actions strong.
My heart tells me,
this feeling's wrong.
I've made mistakes and caused much strife.
This empty feeling,
will be with me through life.
Of all this,
I am the cause.
A new me,
should be what I'm looking for.
This twist of fate,
it leaves no doubt,
That which you can't find within,
cannot be found without.
I leave you now,
after words,
so shallow,
Be true to your heart and the rest will follow.
3:50 AM
I'll think of you forever,
through the good times and the bad.
You always made me happy.
Only now, you make me sad.
My aching heart for always,
to you it will belong.
You kept its beat,
for a while,
oh so very strong.
You thought that you weren't good enough,
but surely you can see,
The kindness that you showed me,
the love you gave to me,
Taught me many lessons,
showed me how to feel,
Love in its purest form..
a love I know was real.
Now I watch so helplessly,
our love drifting away.
My heart holds dear,
what we had,
I'll cherish it every day.
I'll find comfort in the fact,
you always kept your word.
Truthful words in years gone by,
were not something often heard.
Your heart of gold will stay with me,
until the very end.
I'll always hope that one day,
we'll be more than distant friends.
3:49 AM
How would she feel, if I were gone.
Would she cry, as I sang my final song.
All the time I though she cared,
Yet all she did, was stand and stare.
Foolish thoughts in a jumbled mind.
Is there anything to leave behind.
The love I felt, is made a mock.
All I feel now, is pain and shock.
she took my heart in her hand,
Watched it trickle through, like sand.
Does she laugh, at love now gone.
Look on, as she hears my final song.
3:49 AM
Let me fall
in deep embrace
cover
cloak me black
with crescent waves
drowning
in depths of darkness
turbulence storms
holding
fighting
winning
taking me further
away from pain
down
down
down ever onward l go
my spirit lighter
my vision clearer
weaving
moving through death’s open door.
3:48 AM
You cannot see the way to go when first you're left alone.
Left to face the world and fight your battles on your own.
You cannot understand why such a thing should come to you.
the path ahead is hidden and the future veiled from view.
You can't imagine life without that dear one somewhere there.
The good companion of your heart, the one who used to share the bad times and the happy times.
The laughter and the tears, in whom you trusted and confided all your hopes and fears.
But do not think that no one else has borne as much as you.
Some have many years together, others just a few.
There must be a parting.
One must go and one must stay.
One is taken.
One is left.
It happens every day.
3:46 AM
The Sadness
Of the Tears from my Soul
Engulf my Emotions
In Overdrive
Why DID I say what I said ?
To Someone who Cares
To care for Someone
Who does not care about Himself
My Words of Spite Lashing out like Flames from a Fire
Burning of Doubt
In me I do not know ?
Why DID I say what I said ?
The Darkness of Ones Soul Reaching for the Light
But Always out of Grasp
My Body and Mind
I Shield
Away From People Who Love
Never Want to Hurt Anyone
Or too be Hurt
I know why I said what I said
Because Im a FOOL
Always a FOOL
Always Living In The Shadow Of Life
3:45 AM
So kiss me in the Moonlight,
and take me in your arms.
Hold me close, hold me tight.
Just give me this Night,
let us be together 'till dawn.
You don't have to promise forever,
You don't have to tell me "you Love",
I don't want to hear lies,
If you're thinking Goodbye,
If you want me and care
It's enough.
I just want to lay there beside you.
To drift into dreams in your grasp.
To feel your heartbeat,
and your body heat.
Make the most of the time,
while it lasts.
So look in my eyes for the Evening,
Smile soft and wink, like you do
give me a few hours of feeling,
the way that I have,
When with you.
3:44 AM
In darkness I lie,
my soul alight,
This pain against which I fight,
To scream and rage alone,
No one to know,
no one to guess,
Feelings long thought dead,
Run through my head.
I need to be free,
To think,
to find the lost me,
Feelings that lead to darkness,
Must find the light to set myself free.
A powerful force shines in the sky,
The sun is paled by it's light,
A life,
not for me,
I see,
Feelings that lead to life,
For me are no more.
Alone I stand,
Alone I fail,
The future is for others,
The past is mine,
Find me there in dreams........
3:44 AM
You said you would never hurt me
But I guess I was too blind to see
To see what was happening right before my eyes
Think about it now makes me want to cry
I loved you so much
Especially your sweet and tender touch
I loved the way you held me in your arms
As if to keep me away from all evil and harm
How could you hurt me so bad?
How could you make me feel so sad?
Now I cry every night
Thinking about that one little fight
The fight that made us have to part
The fight that made you break my heart.
3:42 AM
you make me smile,
you make me laugh,
you've touched my soul,
deep inside.....
wanting you,
needing you,
oh how i want to touch you,
to feel you,
if only it could be,
if only you were here with me
3:41 AM
in all that is loud
and all thats is silent
the sounds of my soul
sound like crying as my soul takes its toll
if the sounds i make are too much for you
i will just stop for you
in the sadness of my soul
the pit of my heart
she tried to take her life and
now we must part
3:41 AM
My arms are empty with out you
my heart swells when you are there
you fill me with joyfull feelings
because I know you care
Your wrapped around my heart
like a blanket round a child
protecting me from harm
forever making me smile
You stoke the flames of passion
burning with such fire
just when I think i'm in heaven
you go and take me higher
3:40 AM
I turned to you as my world fell apart,
There was always a place for you in my heart.
But the love I knew for so long is now lost,
The trust has gone with a terrible cost.
How can I ever get over you?
How can I start a life so new?
Our love ignored our faults and flaws,
I would have given my life for yours.
A touch of your hand would make me tremble,
My friend, my lover, my world, you would resemble.
You made me feel beautiful,
you made me feel strong,
I had finally discovered where I belong.
But now it is over,
and my soul feels empty,
The apologies came fast and aplenty.
I cannot forgive such a grave betrayal,
I tried so hard to forget,
but to no avail.
And now I am left,
so sad and alone,
The feelings are stronger now I’m so far from my home.
I loved your smile,
your words and your laugh,
But now I must follow a new path.
You were my soulmate,
but now I must forget you,
As my tears fall,
I hear those words ring so true.
I take comfort in their might and their must,
In Perfect Love…and Perfect Trust.
3:38 AM
I have been a huge fan since i was very young
one of the songs that i love always makes me cry
this is it and thank you for reading this
Who wants to live forever
There's no time for us
There's no place for us
What is this thing that builds our dreams
Yet slips away from us
Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever.....?
There's no chance for us
It's all decided for us
This world has only one sweet moment
Set aside for us
Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever.....?
Who dares to love forever
When love must die?
But touch my tears with your lips
Touch my world with your fingertips
And we can have forever
And we can love forever
Forever is our today
Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever?
Forever is our today
Who waits forever anyway?
3:38 AM
I cant take it no more
my soul cant take it
a life to end
my will to break
there is nothing any more
if i could stop all the crap i said and did
she would of stayed with me but she just hid
that figure that face
full of wickedness and grace
a knife
a gun
a pill
or none
what to chose
what life do i have to lose
but in the end
who will cry
not i
3:37 AM
all alone,
just standing here no one to turn to
i think,
in pain,
drowning in my own tears
why can this be,
i just wanna be me
all alone i put my selve through pain
why i dont no,
all alone i stand and stare
myself image horrible how can this be
people turn a blind eye,
speechless what to say
if only i could stop the pain
fingers and throat raw,
why me why any body,
its my a way of coping
all alone help is all i need,
a shoulder
next day dunno tommorow
its me thats who i am,
thats life
all alone i may not be how long no body no's
all that waits is for tommorrw
3:37 AM
I can fight no more
I have no heart
I am so tired
I will just let it take me
Let it take me down
Into the cold darkness
This time I will let the
Ice will close over me
I will sleep, Never to wake
I will just let it take me
I can fight no more
3:36 AM
I sit here thinking of you
Looking for inspiration
What to write?
How do I explain!
The greatest pain I feel
Is that I have caused you Pain
That you are unhappy
Breaks my Heart
I try so hard to help
To be Positive
But somehow it always
Comes out wrong
The more I try to help
The worse I seem to make It
The Battle in me
Is tearing me apart
My emotions and
The poisons that I feed them
A constant battle
That drains my will
Dulls the mind
Erodes the soul
I am Hollow
Empty inside
I am so tired , so tired
Yet I cannot sleep
Cannot rest, tormented
By ghosts of things
that are not there
The more I fight it
The stronger it gets
It’s a battle that I can’t win
Because I have no hope.
3:35 AM
A part of me died today
A part that was me
Apart that I will miss
It is not something
That can be rebuilt
It is not something
That can be replaced
It is gone and I mourn
Its Passing
It was a part of me
That made me ME
That part of me was
Trust…………….
But it is gone now
And I feel empty inside
Empty and cold
I have only one thing left
One fragment of my heart
That one fragment that is
Unconditional love
And even that is slowly
Being taken from me
Eroded away
A piece at a time
Every day it becomes Harder
Harder and colder
Darkness settling in
For one final winter
As my cries and pleas go unheeded
As the Moon fades
All becomes dark and cold
3:35 AM
I need to hold someone
To touch another being
I almost beleive
i'm an insubstantial ghost
I walk alone
in crowded streets
eyes look straight through me
as I drag my feet
Why am I so different
Why do I feel only pain
Why am I destined to be alone
Why am I going insane
Another day
Another life
more misery
more strife
Untill I met you
you noticed me
and I was smitten
you touched me
and I became real
Your embrace carries
hope
your eyes convey
love
your thoughts hold
honesty
you seek only
truth
To me you are a goddess
my soul has welcomed you
my arms
rejoice
my eyes see only
beauty
my thoughts hold only
you
now I seek
nothing
For if I died today
I would go with a smile
for you my love
have made my life worth while
3:34 AM
In the dark
I was untouchable
I was one unto myself
My mind set deep into meditation
No one got through
That's the way I like it just another face,
In a massive sea of people
Then my wall was breached my defenses laid down
You
You were the attacker, the enemy
You allowed me to speak my mind
To tell some one how I felt
I trusted you
You were the light
A twisting turning maze of emotions
My blood pounded and my heart thundered
You gave me courage and hope
Though it was filled with suspicion and lies
I set too fast a pace
For I was the feral tiger, you the gentle tamer
I loved you
But I forgot you were just a candle
An angry wave of the sea
Extinguished you, x-ed you from my life
I didn't even get to say goodbye
Once again I was plunged into a sea of darkness
Lost and drowning
I screamed the cry of a wild one
But no one heard
I was lost in my own furious anger
But then I remembered what I liked about the darkness
There I am untouchable
For the dark is unbreakable
The loss of feeling
Is worth the protection
After a world of essence and light
It's hard to go back to a world of cold darkness
With the absence of all feeling
But that's ok because I like the dark
No one can see me crying, in pain or even dancing
For I like to dance in the dark
No one can reach out to me
Ever again
That's ok I don't want them to
3:32 AM
a moment, a sweet moment
captured in my heart's memory.
A single glance across the room
at a party is where it started.
A smile of the eyes, a lick of the lips,
a hand running through silky hair.
she walks towards me,
my heart stops for that moment.
A whisper in an ear, a laugh at a joke
a touch on the hand,
a warm breath on the back of my neck.
she kisses my lips,
her soft lips, brushing mine,
a shiver of anticipation passes through us both.
she holds my hand in hers,
leads me to the bedroom.
A night of passion,
gentle carresses, ardent kisses,
two bodies pressed to each other.
Ecstacy, joy, the little death.
A night together, a lifetime apart,
that moment still lingers
in my heart's memory.
3:31 AM
I miss your sweet lips as they press onto mine
I miss your cold fingertips running down my spine
I miss your dark eyes as they glisten in the night
So tender, so loving, so caring so bright.
I miss you my darling, now we are apart
That's why, this love poem comes straight from the heart.
3:31 AM
For everyone thats hurting
I wish I could remove your pain
I would hold you all till its gone
and make you laugh again
I would wipe away your tears
and probably mine to
help fight all your fears
and battle them with you
I would ply us all with drink
and we can sing the lonesome song
Remember happy child hoods
and all that has gone
Brighten up your lives
Is what I would like to do
Because we are all the same
and yes I did include you
We laugh we cry
we live we die
we love we hate
so why can't we relate?
3:30 AM
Was it you who planted that 'dark seed'
in the garden of my heart?
Or had it been lying dormant
Waiting for the right conditions to grow...
You caused the tears that watered it
so well,
Yet in my pride,
I denied that such a thing could grow there
Yet it did.
It strangled the love and hope within,
Tendrils of bitterness
Creeping through me,
Smothering all the tender shoots
of trust and compassion.
My horror,
That such a dark corner existed
within my soul.
Your horror,
In what you had created there.
The 'Rain of Tears' continued to pour.
We drowned and chocked in my anger.
And then,at last,
I saw the sunshine,from behind the clouds
of pain.
The new shoots of forgiveness
flowered,
Love overcame the 'nightshade' of my soul.
And then you planted a new seed.
Full of hope, promise and joy.
A little Rosebud
To be nurtured and loved
And our garden began to grow once more.
3:30 AM
This is not one of mine...this was a prayer i said at both of my parents funeral...hope you like it
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there
I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight
I am the soft stars that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not here
I did not die
3:29 AM
How can I have feelings
for one i've never seen
The only contact between us
a few words on a screen
But I think about you all the time
picturing your face
while vivid images flood my mind
imagining a warm embrace
Your smile I want to see
your laughter I want to hear
I want so much
for you to be near
These feelings I have
confuse and confound
your in my mind
but not around
I long for so much
and I don't know your name
is it destiny calling
or just a cruel game?
3:27 AM
Are you in a far away heaven,
Or are you as close as always?
Do you still hear me,
Or have you left behind the sounds of this world?
I think about you,
And wonder where you may be.
Are you still watching,
Or have you left the painful sights of life behind?
I look at the moon at night,
And sometimes i can almost see you smiling back at me.
The stars in the midnight sky carry your grace,
And your beauty echoes through that star-filled sky.
I wonder if you speak to me at night,
When I am in deep sleep.
Do you still whisper sweet songs in my ear,
Or are those only dreams of you?
If only I could see you,
Would you still tell me that you loved me,
Or have you left life's love behind?
If I saw you in your heaven,
I would tell you that I loved you.
Maybe you would lift me up,
And carry me away, to that world that you have finally found.
Margaret Louis
B - 5th Feb 1931
D - 16th Nov 2002
Charles Louis
B - 22nd July 1931
D - 6th April 2001
Rest In Peace
love you always
J
x
3:25 AM
Sometimes i'm happy
sometimes i'm sad
sometimes i'm clever
sometimes i'm mad
but whatever I am
I glad to be alive
to watch the world go round
to see the sun rise above the clouds
to feel the rain
on my naked cheek
to know pain and sorrow
happiness and joy
lifes little pleasures
we take for granted
like the scent of a flower
waving gently in a summer breeze
the laughter of children playing
the moon light reflecting on the sea
a shooting star passing above
are gifts of love
Love that flows endlessly
unconditionaly in and around
spiraling through all
touching every heart
some do not feel it
some ignore it
some exploit it
but some feel it
I have learnt to feel this love
and the gifts to appreciate
to return the love with love
I first removed my hate
3:21 AM
Consider another day without love
It would be so painful
not to have someone to hold
when the darkness covers you
Consider another night alone
no one there beside you
to watch you through the night
or smile when you wake at dawn
Consider another day without love
the lonliness you would feel
the anguish in your heart
without someone to share with
Consider another night alone
sitting up all night
fearing to dream of all
the missing elements in your life
Consider another day without love
no kissing your loved one
no holding hands when walking
no enjoyment of companionship
Consider your life without love
how sad it would be
how lonely and cold
without that warmth of love
consider, when you are alone
what a poor life this is
without the joys of love
Consider...
3:21 AM
One day i'll get so high
so high i'll float into the rich blue sky
i'll wave and smile as i look down to you
up from the sky thats beautifuly blue
I'll float like a feather fluffy soft and light
i'll be so high i'll be out of sight'
I'll find a spirit there..ever so wise
he'll tell me the secrets of the sacred skies
then it'll be time to come back down
there'll be no noise
there'll be no sound
and i'll be full of knowledge..ever so wise'
after learning the secrets of the wise sacred
sky.
3:20 AM
See the tear on my cheek
Watch it glisten
For I will always speak
But you will never listen
I am just a child
Lying deep beneath your heart
From it's feelings I'm exiled
And it's breaking me apart.
I know I can't give much
Just a simple hug or kiss
It's your heart I long to touch
But I can only give you This
3:19 AM
Losing a part of me
one I have loved and lost
never know what you meant to me
now I’ll pay the cost
No matter what I did or was
I’m the same person inside
and if you decide to forgive me
then maybe its not goodbye?
why did I hurt her
and never tell my story
she’ll never know what I think of her
or even that I’m sorry
bound away from what happened
never tell a soul
forgotten and abandoned
my heart with a hole
If only you could be here
see and taste my tears
look in my eyes and see my heart
hopes, dreams and fears
and as I sit here crying
empty and alone
I feel inside I’m dying
with my heart made of stone
I cant explain to her
I cant say why
and let her know I love her
and then to say good bye
3:18 AM
Once more I open my heart
For the last Time
I can take the pain no more
You have destroyed all my defenses
Opened my heart, soul and spirit
And yet now all you do is drive
The blade deeper, twisting.
So once more I open my heart
For the last time
I can take the pain no more.
I cry out to you one more time
I beg that you respond
That you stop this torture
I do not know what I have done
I do not Know what You want of me
But I cannot take the silence no longer.
After this I will close my Heart
My soul and spirit.
I will Wither and die, fade away.
If ever you need me
You will have to find me
And hope that I still live in some form.
How I can carry on I do not know
But I can take the pain no more
So now I close my heart
Strangle my spirit
And suffocate my soul.
I Can Take The Pain No More
3:18 AM
I used to think I knew myself
Until I looked inside my head
My conscience felt secluded
When it found my soul dead
I used to think I knew what love was
Obviously I was wrong
I’m left with bitter heartache
While you just carry on
I used to think I knew our love was true
But you threw it on the rocks of despair
And laughed callously
As if you didn’t care
I used to think I knew that I was whole
But you have a piece of me that I can never regain
My heart is still yours
And I’ll never be the same
I used to think
3:17 AM
I pull you close to me
smelling the fragrance in your hair
I care
I put my arms around you
and never want to let go
I care
Caresing your face
with my finger tips
I love you
running my finger
along your rose red lips
I love you
I am lost in your arms
as you hold me tight
I need you
wispering gently
love me tonight
I need you
A slight shudder
an inperceptable sigh
I want you
your electric touch
drives me wild
I want you
Falling into your eyes
swimmming with love
I feel you
your hot breath
panting with mine
I feel you
now your not here
my tears fall like rain
I miss you
now your love has gone
and I left in pain
I miss you
3:17 AM
I sit here alone in the night
Waiting
Waiting for What?
Waiting for the moon
Waiting for you
Waiting because I
Don’t know what else to do
Looking at the Stars
Watching the change
Waiting for the moon
Waiting for you
Looking at the stars
I think of you
And wander what chance
Is there for us
What chance have I to touch the stars
To embrace the moon
I see you in my mind
A beauty I can barely hold
A beauty of joy and passion
A spirit of love and trust.
But I sit here all alone in the dark
Waiting.
3:17 AM
Bury your head in the sand
why dont you!
Go on...
you've just lost the best thing you've ever had
if only you knew
only time will tell
I gave you everything
gave up my life for you
gave myself to you
oh what an idiot i was
how could i have been so stupid
I was such a fool
to believe in you
everything you said
didnt mean a thing
I was nothing to you
you were so cruel
hurt me so bad
for so many years
you have made me so sad
The pain that you've caused me
just wont go away
how i try and try every day
to forget the things that you have said
but i just cant get them out of my head
"I HATE YOU" i scream outloud
just wish you could fade away...
from my heart...
from my thoughts...
I have to move on
look to the future
leave the past behind
but how will i ever trust again
I dont know if i ever can
look what you have done to me!!
I have to set myself free!!
3:16 AM
I am still alone
And yet there are people there
I just have to learn to speak their language,
A language of abbreviations
Fast and complicated
Faceless people who
Are somehow closer to me than
The people in the room with me
But I am lost in their world
I don’t seem to fit
Can’t keep up
But its better than
Sitting in isolation
Sometimes its easier
Talking to someone you
Can’t see, to build a mental picture
To know that they can’t see you cry
In its own way this impersonal
World is so much more friendly
Than the “real world”
I venture out in fear
Feat of what?, I don’t know
I have so many fears
But this one seems to
Be the strangest
I need people,
The human community
And yet I fear it
But Why , What do I fear
I have been welcomed
into this community
and yet I still feel like an intruder
Hiding in the Shadows
To watch but not know the rules.
3:15 AM
sit here thinking of you
Looking for inspiration
What to write?
How do I explain!
The greatest pain I feel
Is that I have caused you Pain
That you are unhappy
Breaks my Heart
I try so hard to help
To be Positive
But somehow it always
Comes out wrong
The more I try to help
The worse I seem to make It
The Battle in me
Is tearing me apart
My emotions and
The poisons that I feed them
A constant battle
That drains my will
Dulls the mind
Erodes the soul
I am Hollow
Empty inside
I am so tired , so tired
Yet I cannot sleep
Cannot rest, tormented
By ghosts of things
that are not there
The more I fight it
The stronger it gets
It’s a battle that I can’t win
Because I have no hope.
3:15 AM
To be the breeze
that gently touches your face
the kiss that lingers on your lips
but, never leaves a trace
to be the sound of your heartbeat
strong as the tide
like the treasures of the deep
of what is hidden inside
to be the one in your dreams
when the darkness falls,
the first name on your lips
when the sunrise calls
to be the passion so hot
like the flame of a fire
the one that you crave
the one that you desire
3:14 AM
What if i run
what if i hide
what if i fight
what if i die
will there be an ending for me
or will i just run and hide
their is so much pain inside my soul
if i let go im afraid to grow old
so i sell my soul not to live not to die
just not to answer the question who am i
3:14 AM
I sit here and read
The words you wrote
And cry into the night
For I an lost and alone
Drowning in the icy
Waters of despair
Yet again I ask
I cry out against the sky
What have I done
To deserve this
What terrible thing
Have I done
How can I fix what
I don't know that I have Done
How can I correct a mistake
That I don't know that I have Made
How do I break this curse that is my Life.
I so desperately need you
I need to hear your voice
Just to be near you
To know that you care
I wish that I could draw
The pictures that are in my mind
So that I could have them always
They fade now as the
Darkness slowly advances
Taking everything from me
Even my memories
Things so precious to me
Sliding away
I know that they are still there
I just can't seem to reach them
They are there just above the Ice
As I sink slowly away into
The cold darkness.
3:13 AM
I Made it Through
Another Day....
Then the Next
I Hope & Pray
Love Come &
Fly My Way...
I'm Still Waiting For
That Fateful Day~
My Heart is Still Heavy
But, Not as Weak
I Can Feel the Earth
Beneath My Feet
My Starr in the Heavens
I Still Can't Find~
But, Maybe I Was a Little Blind
To Think This Love was Meant to Be
Otherwise You Would Have Never
Left Me.....
I'm Blessed Your Path
Ran Into Mine
This I Will Hold Til
The End of Time....
But, I Wish I Got to Say "Goodbye"
or Find out the Reasons Why?
Maybe Someday, Down the Road
I'll be Able to Let Go of This Heavy Load...
This Tangled Web That I Wove
Caught Up in This Misery
No One to Blame Except for Me..
Unable to Escape My Destiny~
My Love for You is Still as True
As Deep as the Ocean's Blue...
But it's Time for Me to Set You Free
So I Can Be Set Free too~
3:12 AM
Every day I wake with a hole in my heart and clouds in my mind.
Every day I wake feeling empty in an empty bed.
How do you pick up the pieces of a shattered dream.
How do you rebuild a shattered spirit.
How do you fix a heart torn apart.
So much time wasted, So much undone
So many regrets, So much unsaid.
So much pain, So much suffering.
For good or bad, for glad or sad.
Its all over now!
So sleep now my baby sleep.
"In the blackness of the night
I seem to wander endlessly.
With the hope burning out deep inside.
I am alone and there is no one by my side."
3:11 AM
Memories of the past creep in.
The right being tainted by the wrong.
Nothing in the world seems pure anymore,
the day never comes,
the sun never shines.
To love and not be loved in return is hard
To be loved but not loved equally -
Hurts.
It burns, it stings and finally our pathetic excuse for an exsistance is turned -
To dust.
3:11 AM
Some people may ask “how can you be friends
With someone you’ve never met before”
And I simply say “but every time we talk
I learn a little more
She’s one of my best friends
She’s my source of inspiration
She cares for me and I care for her
Yet she in a different nation
We talk every night
And I tell her all my fears
She’s my shoulder to lean on
She can take away all my tears
If I ever need help
She will be there for me
And I will do the same for her
No matter how far away she may be
Were totally different people
But we are friends for life
I’m a son and a child
She’s a daughter and a sister
But when we talk
Our differences are soon forgotten
And we discuss things
That we both have in common
We listen to the same music
And we love the same stars
We read the same books
And we like the same flowers
She’s been my life line
So many times in the past
And I do the same for her
That’s is what makes our friendship last
No matter what life may through at us
We will help each other through
And I believe in my heart
That this is what makes our friendship true”
3:10 AM
I understand it now
I know the way
I know how hard it can be
To keep this knowledge at bay
Yet I must try not to unveil my secrets
Or to show others the truth
My secrets must stay
With me though my youth
As I grow older
And as others slowly find
The knowledge I have hidden
Alone In my mind
They will understand
Why I have not told
The secrets that I know
They will slowly unfold
3:09 AM
I want to feel the touch of a soft petal falling
I need to feel the breeze of a calm wind at night
I want to feel the ocean sweeping at my ankles
I need your tender hands to hold me tight
I want to feel the chill of a snowflake settling
I need to feel touch of a child’s hand on mine
I want to feel the rush of knowing that you love me
I need your tender hands to let me know that I am fine
I want to feel your body rising as you’re sleeping
I need to feel the thrill of you being of my part
I want to feel my hands running through your soft hair
I need your tender hands to stroke my heart.
3:08 AM
I love you,
don't you know it's true;
I love you,
Can you imagine how much I do?
All thro' the night
Each and every day,
You know my love is stronger now
It just busts out of my soul 'n'
You can hear me say:
I love you,
don't you know it's true?
I love you,
Can you imagine how much I really do?
Really do,
Really do,
Yea!
3:07 AM
Why must I torment my Soul?
Do I enjoy the pain I feel?
Do I dare try to forget the Love we shared?
Or am I just fooling my heart?
To think that you didn't have a choice to leave..
This obsession has become too great,
I don't know how much longer I can endure such grief...
Why are you such a big part of me?
My heart is bound by an eternal loss...
It has become part of me,
The pain, sorrow.....the missing piece..
Looking at your picture every day...
Reading every word written for me....
Why must I torture my Soul?
Why can't I just let it go...
Why do you continue to haunt my dreams?
What are you trying to tell me?
Am I blinded by this misery?
Is that why I can't hear you?
I've reached out so many times for you
Only to be deleted from your eyes...
Why must you continue to fight alone,
Without me?
I miss You , I will always miss you......
Why won't you reach out to me?
I never left you,
You left me....
And when you left, didn't you know that a
Part of me would have to leave too?
Leave with you....
Only to be eternally bound to you forever
3:06 AM
I grew to love you
Even though you didn't want it
You never made any promises
But my heart always hoped.
I swear I would have told you
But you got your news out first.
And when I saw the joy in your eyes
My voice retreated deep within me.
And so you left with no regrets
I was the one left, the walking wounded
But I had to carry on, life wouldn't stop
Even if my will to carry on had.
It was just five months, it felt like years
You rang and wanted to see me
I felt the familiar tightening of my chest
Knew I couldn't keep away from you
You were just the same as you always were
But I was so changed yet you couldn't see
You thought we continue from where we left
Our "arrangement" as you called it
It never sounded so callous before
It never stung my eyes with tears
Never made me feel so ashamed
But yet, I still found myself agreeing
But I lost the plot as they say
When I had time to think about it
What you were asking of me
It was more that I could give you.
So I told you the truth in the end
It would have been a girl I said
He replied but she never lived
She is no longer a reality, she never was
And he never felt what I felt
I knew that he never felt anything at all
But she was real to me, and I felt her
And I loved her if only for sixteen weeks
Yet no one has ever known my pain
Or seen my face streaked with tears
I never let the mask slip, never stop smiling
Remaining unaffected as the world carries on
But inside there is a river full of tears
Flowing to a vast ocean of sorrow.
For I have no heart left to stop the flow
And now surely I am drowning.
3:05 AM
My heart feels heavy,
I cannot sleep
There is no ground
beneath my feet.......
What~ once was solid
Now~ nothing feels right
Nothing left in my Soul to fight...
Fight for what?
I ask of me.........
Fight for a love,
that was meant to be?
My eyes of green
have lost their way.....
My Soul has turned~
A solen grey.....
My Starr in the heavens
I cannot find.
I've searched for days,
& through this night
A sleepless night is what I see
A sleepless night without you
beside me..........
I lay awake in my lonely bed~
Awake & alone is what I dread..........
3:04 AM
Was it your words that made me think about you all night,
or was it the smile that you brought to my face when I saw the E- Mail
message that seem to shine so bright.
Yes I feel so confused, How could it be?
You stole my Heart away with the stroke of your computer keys.
We chat, we talk its just not the same, there should be no reason I get so
excited when I see your chat name.
We are in a private room, designed for two, sometimes I think they
designed one especially for me and you.
We are chatting for hours when I realize, oops, I'm on the computer, I was
lost there for a while, but your words they really make me smile.
Communications is the key to unlock my heart,
It's funny the computer has enable to get thus far.
Cyber space is strange and that is true,
But guess what - It Scrolled My Heart a Road Directly to you .
3:04 AM
We are not evil.
We don't harm or seduce people.
We are not dangerous.
We are ordinary people like you.
We have families, jobs, hopes, and dreams.
We are not a cult.
This religion is not a joke.
We are not what you think we are from looking at T.V.
We are real.
We laugh, we cry.
We are serious.
We have a sense of humour.
You don't have to be afraid of us.
We don't want to convert you.
And please don't try to convert us.
Just give us the same right we give you -- to live in peace.
We are much more similar than you think.
3:02 AM
Honour brings us here,
on a path that is just and true,
leading us onwards
to the final battle.
On meadows of green and gold,
the brave will fall,
as those before us.
We were destined to die here,
In the name of freedom.
Through courage we will prevail,
and though you may forget us,
we die for you.
Though ours number may be few,
we have stout hearts to empower us
and faithful blades to slay our foes.
So that some may remain,
to tell our tale to our children.
With proud heads held high
and our mighty flag waving,
we face the final onslaught
against the winter breeze.
We are the last,
Protecting our ancient ways.
Old souls do guard us,
that we may not fail.
Forget us not, lest we abandon our kin,
so ye shall always remember that moment,
on the field where we died.
2:53 AM